very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
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Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
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Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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