I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
