We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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