I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
