Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
