Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
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She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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