On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we have pet lesbian snakes
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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