I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
