ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
