Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm both gender and math confused
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