if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
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He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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