girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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