No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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