pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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