protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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