a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
