New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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