i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
