I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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