I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i think i have two assholes
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
