Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
