OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
