We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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