guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
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