You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
