After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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