I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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