giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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