The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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