drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He keeps bees of course he's weird
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize