I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
