It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
