bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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