Your tits are I can't wait for
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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