the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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