My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
