Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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