I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
