he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
