I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
