New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
