What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
