i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize