i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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