So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it's like iHOP with fire
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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