So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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