Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
