That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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