Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
