I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
