Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
