yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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