i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
