Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
