remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
