its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
