hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
